So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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