jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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