he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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