I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
