so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
