Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
