My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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