I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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