I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
