please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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