Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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