She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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