Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
