shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Non-Jews are for practice
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
