guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
