You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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