I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
