he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
