And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
