Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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