he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
