Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
