do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
