YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no you cant smoke seaweed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
