Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
