Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize