Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
