My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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