No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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