You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
