after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
