So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
