But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
