You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
