You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
