Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
