3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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