just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
