But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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