if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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