D3 body, D1 cock
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
