We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize