Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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