ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
