She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
