I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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