Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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