you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
