Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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