thus making me awesome and them whores
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
