Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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