At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
