Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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