Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
