no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize