in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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