Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
