I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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