ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
