You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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