i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
