I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
