Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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