During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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