if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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