I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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