i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
