Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
