Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
