I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize