tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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