Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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